Category: Scarlet Update

Let’s get real: there is an onslaught of scarlet all around us: all days, all times. Our “scarlet updates” try to capture the things that are making us cringe currently. Whether it’s in the news, politics, celebrity gossip, or just fucking need scarlet brigade attention- we will ring the scarlet alarm here.

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SCARLET BORDER (and something you can do about it)

Something you can do about the detainment of immigrant children IN AMERICA:  EMAIL THESE FECKERS WHO ARE PROFITING FROM THE DETAINMENT OF CHILDREN: CEO of MVM: marquezk@mvminc.com General Dynamics PR TEAM: lryan@generaldynamics.com Carol.Smith@gd-ms.com DDuBard@nassco.com david.hench@gdbiw.com Mark.Meudt@gdit.com porterr@gdls.com rafael.moreno@gdels.com heidi.fedak@gulfstream.com heinz.aebi@jetaviation.ch laurie.vanbrocklin@gd-ots.com dbarrett@gdeb.com   DRAFT TEXT FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION AND USE: Hello, It has come to my attention that your company is financially benefiting from the … Continue reading SCARLET BORDER (and something you can do about it)

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Scarlet Update

Galway Girl – A Scarlet Unpacking

800 years of oppression. The Famine. Louis Walsh. The 8th Amendment. 50 years of The Late Late Show. Linda Martin. The Catholic Church. So. Much. Mort. And now we have to deal with Ed Sheeran’s, ‘Galway Girl.’ ‘Galway Girl’ is a subtle terrorist attack on Ireland that will slowly wipe us all out from scarlet fever, leaving only those immune to scarlet, alive. This short list … Continue reading Galway Girl – A Scarlet Unpacking

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Scarlet Update

2017- A Scarlet Lookback

There are two types of scarlet that I study. The bad: “We’re all FUUUUUUUCKED” kind, like realising ‘The Handmaids Tale’ is real and Matt Damon is the best we are gonna get, and the good: “Ah! The HACK of that” kind that is so utterly mortifying and glorious (see Fyre Fest or Brad Pitt’s GQ Interview) that it breathes new mort into you and makes you … Continue reading 2017- A Scarlet Lookback

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IRELAND, A SCARLET TIMELINE. Special Edition: The Oppression of Women

Have a quick tour of the mort that is the history of women’s oppression in Ireland by clicking through this  presentation.* *May induce scarletitis which Scarlet Brigade/Repeal Global recommends a prescription of YES VOTE** to cure. **Only available to eligible voters on May 25th in the Republic of Ireland. A majority yes vote will cure future scarlet-inducing, 8th-related terrors. YES FOR EMPATHY. YES FOR BODILY … Continue reading IRELAND, A SCARLET TIMELINE. Special Edition: The Oppression of Women

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Scarlet Update

Scarlet Recap – Ed Sheeran, Brad Pitt & Irish Politics

We have become so overwhelmed with the constant onslaught of scarlet lately that we literally can’t digest it all quick enough. Too much happened last week. It started with The Met Gala on Monday- read our recap here and rapidly descended into a shit show after that. We were trying to get over the Ed Sheeran’s vocal massacre of ‘Galway Girl’ and then he goes and releases a fucking … Continue reading Scarlet Recap – Ed Sheeran, Brad Pitt & Irish Politics

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Scarlet Update

Scarlet Recap – Taylor Swift, Rose of Tralee, Louis Ck and Katy Perry

Last week was another historic week in the Scarlet Olympics. Taylor Swift made a sneaky comeback to the scarlet games, and Louis CK came out of nowhere and waved his scarlet torch around, but it was reigning World Champion of Scarlet, Daithi O Se, who went home with the gold again. Here is your recap of all the scarlet happenings from this very morto week: … Continue reading Scarlet Recap – Taylor Swift, Rose of Tralee, Louis Ck and Katy Perry

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Scarlet Update

Scarlet Recap- The Script, R Kelly & Ed Sheeran Ruining Everything

It’s a trying time for scarlet scholars. We simply can’t keep up with all the new levels of mort being discovered every day. The last few weeks have been an especially difficult. Between The Script trying to stop terrorism, Ed Sheeran’s appearance in Game of Thrones and R Kelly running a sex cult, we’ve been basically navigating a scarlet tsunami out there. We’ve officially declared … Continue reading Scarlet Recap- The Script, R Kelly & Ed Sheeran Ruining Everything

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Scarlet Update

Scarlet Met Ball

Anna Wintour’s 2017 Mort Gala took place last night and as usual, it was a masterclass in scarlet. The theme this year was, “Fyre Festival 2017 – A Scarlet Lookback”.  Here is our pick of top ten knobbers of the night that’s going to give you all the Buzzfeed mort. 10: Caroline Kennedy Caroline went deep in her look back at Fyre Fest and its origins, picking flowers from … Continue reading Scarlet Met Ball

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What The Fuck Is Goop? – A Scarlet Investigation

Any scarlet scholar will know that Gwyneth Paltrow, “consciously uncoupled” herself from reality right around the time she created Goop. But, what exactly IS Goop and why is it so fucking SCARLEH? We downed a bottle of vodka and went where all good scarlet hunters go, onto the interwebs.  Goop is a lifestyle brand, created by Paltrow in 2008 that aims to empower and enlighten … Continue reading What The Fuck Is Goop? – A Scarlet Investigation

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