Scarlet Recap- The Script, R Kelly & Ed Sheeran Ruining Everything

It’s a trying time for scarlet scholars. We simply can’t keep up with all the new levels of mort being discovered every day. The last few weeks have been an especially difficult. Between The Script trying to stop terrorism, Ed Sheeran’s appearance in Game of Thrones and R Kelly running a sex cult, we’ve been basically navigating a scarlet tsunami out there. We’ve officially declared … Continue reading Scarlet Recap- The Script, R Kelly & Ed Sheeran Ruining Everything

What The Fuck Is Goop? – A Scarlet Investigation

Any scarlet scholar will know that Gwyneth Paltrow, “consciously uncoupled” herself from reality right around the time she created Goop. But, what exactly IS Goop and why is it so fucking SCARLEH? We downed a bottle of vodka and went where all good scarlet hunters go, onto the interwebs.  Goop is a lifestyle brand, created by Paltrow in 2008 that aims to empower and enlighten … Continue reading What The Fuck Is Goop? – A Scarlet Investigation

Bloodline – Season 3 – A Scarlet Explosion

Jaysus, Bloodline. What the fuck was all that about? You absolute mess. Like all toxic relationships, you started out by luring me in with your wicked, sexy ways in Season 1. By Season 2 you were dropping so many scarlet bombs, I barely made it out alive. By the end of Season 3, I was begging for sweet relief every time Kevin, a known idiot, said “I’m NOT an idiot.” … Continue reading Bloodline – Season 3 – A Scarlet Explosion

Leo Varadkar – A Scarlet Investigation

If someone had told me a few years ago that Enda Kenny’s likely successor would be the son of an Indian immigrant who was also a young, openly gay doctor I would have fucking jumped for joy. I would have thrown the scarlet shackles off me, screaming, “DOOOOOON’T STOP…. BELIEVING! HOLD ONTO THAT FEEEEEEEEELING!” But that person ended up being Leo Varadkar, so I ran back into the scarlet bunker … Continue reading Leo Varadkar – A Scarlet Investigation

BREAKING SCARLET: Enda Kenny’s LinkedIn Profile Discovered Online

The rumours of Enda Kenny’s imminent departure are proving to be true after his LinkedIn profile was found online. In another classic fuck up by Enda, he prematurely updated said profile before he had officially stepped down as our scarlet leader. In the shocking discovery, which LinkedIn have called their most “scarlet profile by far,” Enda states that he is currently on the dole and seeking disability allowance due to whiplash … Continue reading BREAKING SCARLET: Enda Kenny’s LinkedIn Profile Discovered Online

Scarlet Recap – Ed Sheeran, Brad Pitt & Irish Politics

We have become so overwhelmed with the constant onslaught of scarlet lately that we literally can’t digest it all quick enough. Too much happened last week. It started with The Met Gala on Monday- read our recap here and rapidly descended into a shit show after that. We were trying to get over the Ed Sheeran’s vocal massacre of ‘Galway Girl’ and then he goes and releases a fucking … Continue reading Scarlet Recap – Ed Sheeran, Brad Pitt & Irish Politics

Scarlet Met Ball

Anna Wintour’s 2017 Mort Gala took place last night and as usual, it was a masterclass in scarlet. The theme this year was, “Fyre Festival 2017 – A Scarlet Lookback”.  Here is our pick of top ten knobbers of the night that’s going to give you all the Buzzfeed mort. 10: Caroline Kennedy Caroline went deep in her look back at Fyre Fest and its origins, picking flowers from … Continue reading Scarlet Met Ball

Kendall Jenner “Ends Racism” | A Scarlet Breakdown

If this is what happens when a Kardashian/Jenner gets woke, then please take another valium and stay the fuck ASLEEP. If you haven’t already seen this Pepsi ad where white saviour Kendall Jenner saves the world, please be aware of the mort that you’re about to see. A cluster fuck of scarlet is about to enter your head, zapping your brain cells at a rapid-fire speed, killing … Continue reading Kendall Jenner “Ends Racism” | A Scarlet Breakdown

Galway Girl – A Scarlet Unpacking

800 years of oppression. The Famine. Louis Walsh. The 8th Amendment. 50 years of The Late Late Show. Linda Martin. The Catholic Church. So. Much. Mort. And now we have to deal with Ed Sheeran’s, ‘Galway Girl.’ ‘Galway Girl’ is a subtle terrorist attack on Ireland that will slowly wipe us all out from scarlet fever, leaving only those immune to scarlet, alive. This short list … Continue reading Galway Girl – A Scarlet Unpacking