Bloodline – Season 3 – A Scarlet Explosion

Jaysus, Bloodline. What the fuck was all that about? You absolute mess. Like all toxic relationships, you started out by luring me in with your wicked, sexy ways in Season 1. By Season 2 you were dropping so many scarlet bombs, I barely made it out alive. By the end of Season 3, I was begging for sweet relief every time Kevin, a known idiot, said “I’m NOT an idiot.” … Continue reading Bloodline – Season 3 – A Scarlet Explosion

Leo Varadkar – A Scarlet Investigation

If someone had told me a few years ago that Enda Kenny’s likely successor would be the son of an Indian immigrant who was also a young, openly gay doctor I would have fucking jumped for joy. I would have thrown the scarlet shackles off me, screaming, “DOOOOOON’T STOP…. BELIEVING! HOLD ONTO THAT FEEEEEEEEELING!” But that person ended up being Leo Varadkar, so I ran back into the scarlet bunker … Continue reading Leo Varadkar – A Scarlet Investigation

BREAKING SCARLET: Enda Kenny’s LinkedIn Profile Discovered Online

The rumours of Enda Kenny’s imminent departure are proving to be true after his LinkedIn profile was found online. In another classic fuck up by Enda, he prematurely updated said profile before he had officially stepped down as our scarlet leader. In the shocking discovery, which LinkedIn have called their most “scarlet profile by far,” Enda states that he is currently on the dole and seeking disability allowance due to whiplash … Continue reading BREAKING SCARLET: Enda Kenny’s LinkedIn Profile Discovered Online

Oscars 2017 – Scarlet Recap

What a time to be alive! Here’s our: Top Five Most Scarlet Moments From The 2017 Oscars. 5: Justin Timberlake Trolling Everyone No better man to kick off the scarlet than JT. He barged into the auditorium like a man possessed, singing his anthem, ‘Can’t Stop The Scarlet.’ And in fairness, he can’t. He not only managed to make the worst song of all time, MORE annoying, he also went on … Continue reading Oscars 2017 – Scarlet Recap

Kendall Jenner “Ends Racism” | A Scarlet Breakdown

If this is what happens when a Kardashian/Jenner gets woke, then please take another valium and stay the fuck ASLEEP. If you haven’t already seen this Pepsi ad where white saviour Kendall Jenner saves the world, please be aware of the mort that you’re about to see. A cluster fuck of scarlet is about to enter your head, zapping your brain cells at a rapid-fire speed, killing … Continue reading Kendall Jenner “Ends Racism” | A Scarlet Breakdown

Scarlet for Democracy

Trump is doing great, isn’t he? Best ever. Tremendous success. Massive hands. Definitely not mentally ill and Melania looks so in love. These are what Trump’s team would call alternative facts or what normal, non-psychotic people call TOTAL FUCKING BULLSHIT. Alternative facts do work for some things, like resumes and Tinder profiles. Since Trump set foot in the White House I have spruced up my resume with … Continue reading Scarlet for Democracy

Top Five Scarlet Moments from the Golden Globes

5:  White people being dumb as fuck. I’m surprised Pharrell didn’t drop to the floor and have a cringe attack after this. This is a video of Jenna Bush confusing the movie Fences with Hidden Figures, two of the biggest movies of the year starring black actors. Just in case Pharrell didn’t hear her, Jenna proceeded to say it another 420 times while also groping his shoulder and asking … Continue reading Top Five Scarlet Moments from the Golden Globes

We Need To Talk About Linda

No, we REALLY need to talk about Linda. We were actually in the middle of writing a list of Ireland’s most scarlet moments when we realised it was almost ALL about Linda Martin. So, we decided to scrap the rest for now and just focus on Ireland’s true scarlet beacon. Here are Linda’s top five most horrifying moments. 5: Why The Fuck? Why me? Why fucking us, Linda? Linda … Continue reading We Need To Talk About Linda

Scarlet Shit List

As “fuck you 2016” memes flood Instagram, Facebook statuses reach new levels of narcissistic scarlet, and Snapchat filters teeter on a not-so-blurry line of blatant racism, we, at the Scarlet Brigade find ourselves desperately strapping onto a hitching post waiting to see the calm in the eye of the shit twister that was 2016, à la Helen Hunt, 1996. But if the dude from “Big Love” … Continue reading Scarlet Shit List