Trump is doing great, isn’t he? Best ever. Tremendous success. Massive hands. Definitely not mentally ill and Melania looks so in love. These are what Trump’s team would call alternative facts or what normal, non-psychotic people call TOTAL FUCKING BULLSHIT. Alternative facts do work for some things, like resumes and Tinder profiles. Since Trump set foot in the White House I have spruced up my resume with … Continue reading Scarlet for Democracy
5: White people being dumb as fuck. I’m surprised Pharrell didn’t drop to the floor and have a cringe attack after this. This is a video of Jenna Bush confusing the movie Fences with Hidden Figures, two of the biggest movies of the year starring black actors. Just in case Pharrell didn’t hear her, Jenna proceeded to say it another 420 times while also groping his shoulder and asking … Continue reading Top Five Scarlet Moments from the Golden Globes
No, we REALLY need to talk about Linda. We were actually in the middle of writing a list of Ireland’s most scarlet moments when we realised it was almost ALL about Linda Martin. So, we decided to scrap the rest for now and just focus on Ireland’s true scarlet beacon. Here are Linda’s top five most horrifying moments. 5: Why The Fuck? Why me? Why fucking us, Linda? Linda … Continue reading We Need To Talk About Linda
We would like to take this time to tell a few people, to….well…..TO FUCKING PISS OFF. We were gonna make a video, of us walking through a park, all Verve like, banging off people, while a really cool beat plays in the background and we read this all slam poetry like and moody as fuck. Except we can’t be arsed, so, like, just picture all … Continue reading Piss Off…..
As “fuck you 2016” memes flood Instagram, Facebook statuses reach new levels of narcissistic scarlet, and Snapchat filters teeter on a not-so-blurry line of blatant racism, we, at the Scarlet Brigade find ourselves desperately strapping onto a hitching post waiting to see the calm in the eye of the shit twister that was 2016, à la Helen Hunt, 1996. But if the dude from “Big Love” … Continue reading Scarlet Shit List
Dear America, It’s me, your uterus. Or, well. Your collective uterus. Your daughter’s uterus. Your wife’s uterus. Your mother’s uterus. Your granddaughter’s uterus. YOUR UTERUS. You know, the one that makes the future happen? the one that each and every one of you incubated in for months? Yeah, that uterus. When you go to the polls tomorrow, please know that my future, that is, the … Continue reading Dear America
News just in to us at scarlet headquarters: supreme leader in all things scarlet, Enda Kenny, has been rushed to the Royal Victoria Eye and Ear Hospital in Dublin with reports he is suffering from being blind, deaf AND dumb (BDD), after people started asking him about repealing the 8th. His rambling and constant stupidity over the constitution as laid out in this article is what first got doctors alarmed. … Continue reading Enda Kenny – Rushed To Hospital
Dear Enda, I am writing to you as one of the thousands of Irish people living abroad who are demanding change for Irish women. I am writing to you to repeal the 8th. To repeal the shame and to help move this country forward to become a safe and progressive place to live for all citizens. The 8th amendment was voted into the constitution in Ireland … Continue reading Dear Enda
Lads! We’re fucking morto again, but in a good way. Thanks to the Littlewoods Ireland blog awards for officially nominating The Scarlet Brigade this year. The ceremony is on September 15th and we will be sending some stun huns in our place as we are too scarlet to go and also live abroad. We think ye should all start a kickstarter to get us home for the ceremony … Continue reading Scarlet For Ourselves
Police in Rio have issued an appeal for help in finding Irish man, John Delaney, otherwise known as “Delo Boy”, or “Yokemon” to those closest to him. Delo Boy has been on the missing list since Rio police issued a warrant for his arrest for being a scabby cunt. Delo Boy’s partner in crime, Pat “Soprano” Hickey, (President of the Olympics Council of Ireland), was knicked … Continue reading MISSING PERSON APPEAL- John ‘Del Boy’ Delaney.