Lemonade Life

There are only two ways I discuss my life now: pre and post Lemonade.

It’s day 5 of Lemonade life and I WILL NEVER BE DONE. I have too much to discuss, too many questions. What did I even talk about before this? Do Rita Ora & Iggy Azalea cease to exist now that we have sipped this greatness? Did Bey write this entire album in the elevator while Solange kicked the shit out of Jay? Is Jay Z still alive? Has Becky with the good hair got a perm and fucked off to Iraq for safety? Hopefully Beyonce can answer all of these questions on her follow-up album: Flat 7up


Is this Jay Z or a Lemon???? I CAN’T EVEN FUCKING TELL ANYMORE!!

I don’t know what to say to people who haven’t seen Lemonade yet. I’d advise you to take a step back and really question what you are doing with your life. I’ve managed to watch it about 14 times since Sunday. That was clearly a lie. I’ve watched it about 68 times. And listened to the album on a loop, while I investigate the elevator video for more clues. I was contemplating bringing my phone into the shower yesterday to play it, but it went dead. That’s how batshit crazy I am. I even signed up to fucking Tidal. NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO SIGN UP TO TIDAL. That’s the power Beyonce has over us. (But really, I mean me. ‘Cause I love her the most.)

Bey has been my ride or die, for a long time. Almost 17 years we’ve been going strong. It began with ‘No,No,No,No’ and quickly became serious with the release of ‘Writings On The Wall.’ I took a day off school when I first got ‘Writings On The Wall’, I needed to set the scene, have the place to myself. It was TWO fucking cassette tapes, ok!? It needed my full, undivided attention. Then came ‘Crazy in Love.’ That was her proposal. Bey and me were now lifers. This song, like only true love can, took over my entire being for a summer. So much so that I could regularly be seen outside school, arse cocked to the air screaming, “Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no, no.” And not in like a Britney-school-uniform way, it was a navy, baggy pants- can’t dance way. But I didn’t even care, cause I was crazy in love. “Your love’s got me loooooking so crazy right now!”

Anyway, then Jay put an actual ring on it………and I was all “hold up, he don’t love you like I love you!!! slow down, he don’t love you like I love you!!”.

I soon became a third wheel on this Bonnie and Clyde takeover. A role I was happy to play. I cheered her on from the sideline (in my definitely not imaginary BFF 4 ever relationship) while she became BEYONCE, built an empire, released anthems, gave birth to a second in command, her Royal Highness Blue Ivy carter, was one of 5 women in history to headline Glastonbury, became her own manager, stopped talking to the press AND single handedly changed the way music is released and viewed. She also continues to give Michelle Williams her 5 minutes of fame every year, with a background cameo. An achievement that cannot be underestimated. #prayformichelle.

I digress, lets get back to Lemonade. It’s more than an album, isn’t it? More than a 1 hour short film, even more than, dare I say it, Beyonce? It’s a movement. It’s a statement about black culture in America past and present. It’s a love letter to women, specifically black women, to their struggles and relationships (as a white woman something I’m not even going to pretend to know about). Instead read this great think piece.


Beyonce is the epitome of Black Lives Matter. She simultaneously manages to pay homage to Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown and Eric Garner, forcing us to remember them, to engrave the images their mothers carry heavy in their hearts in our own heads, while also celebrating all the incredible black woman who have paved the way for her and many others. Showcasing the south’s culture, music and even throws in some Malcolm X. One of the most poignant moments for me was when a young african american man driving his car says:

“I even met the president one time, man. I ain’t tell you that? Yeah, I met the president, you know. Before I met him, you dig…I didn’t see myself going nowhere. I mean, really. I ain’t…you know…I ain’t really cared if I lived or died. Now I feel like I gotta live, man, for my kids and stuff, you know? He…he from the hood just like me. He from Chi-raq, you know. I’m  from New Orleans. That give me inspiration to be whatever I wanna be man”.

Beyonce is not only using her voice, she is giving others a platform to use theirs and empower a whole new generation. To move forward, we need to get in formation and listen.

All this and she managed to tell us what a scarlet prick Jay Z is.


*Side note* do not sign up to Tidal, big mistake, HUGE. Would be easier getting out of a cult. I had to live chat an actual human being online at app support to release me from its claws.  Jay ain’t an easy man to leave.


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