A Miracle Scarlet Breakthrough May Be Here

Do you ever wake up on a Sunday morning and have a lovely twenty seconds of cringe-free bliss before you suddenly, and without warning, get a flashback of the scarlet tornado that was you the night before? Scarlet studies show that one out of one people suffer from sudden onset scarletitis between the hours of 9am & 9pm every Sunday, after which it can get progressively worse. Sometimes even leading into the early hours of Monday morning.

It’s a sudden and often contagious disease that has little or no cure- until now! A breakthrough in this disease that nobody likes to talk about may finally be on the way. Research has shown that 99.9 % of patients who suffer from sudden onset scarlitis showed significant and noticeable improvements after watching this video, a video Dr. Morto of the Scarlet Research Centre calls, “a breakthrough for all of the silent victims suffering from this often crippling disease, that yes, there is light at the end of what seems like a very dark, almost crimson coloured tunnel.”

The video shows a man having a full-on scarlet attack while line – dancing and then flashes forward to the same man some years later who is now it seems scarlet free. The man has been identified as Colin Farrell, a 39 year old Castleknock native and former scarletitis sufferer during one of the worst stages of the disease. At a scarlet press conference last week Dr. Morto spoke of the impacts Colin Farrell has had on the millions of scarlitis sufferers worldwide: “He has given hope to all the people suffering with the disease that it is possible to overcome this with very few relapses. From what we can tell, Colin has not been seen in public wearing a cowboy hat for almost 20 years and has not had a scarlet relapse since he was in Miami Vice.”

Below is the video, which as you can see is absolutely fucking scarlet. I can only imagine that yer one doing the voice-over agrees with me. #vintagescarlet

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