Scarlet heads…

IT’S TIME TO REPEAL THE SCARLET.

GET UP!!!!!

The world is FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKEDDDDDD. Everyone is wreckin’ the gaff. We here at scarlet hq are fucking SICK of it. The hashtags and facebook rants are great for getting the scarlet outta ya, keep it up. Hashtag till your fucking eyeballs fall out of your morto head, but it’s NOT ENOUGH! We are beyond fucking angry at the world. We need to do something. REALLY fucking do something.

Now bear with us, we have a five step plan to save the world.

1: Follow Calvin Harris on Twitter.

2: Follow Katy Perry on Twitter

3: Follow Taylor Swift on Twitter

4: Read all of their tweets

5: Get a rope, a chair and an empty room

JOKE. that’s a stupid plan, as if you wait till step 5 to get the rope. Here’s a better plan:

1. BE ACTIVE in your local community. One of our scarlet sisters in Portland recently got elected and is running around the place like a KWEEN, changing the world, one speech at a time. She recently helped lower the levels of scarlet by giving a speech at a city council meeting in her community ’cause a load of dickheads were allowed, by the local government, to have confederate flag FLOAT in an Independence Day parade (the confederate flag has long been associated with Ku Kux Klan and other pricks). Did no one tell them independence day was created by America to solely celebrate Will Smith? Anyway, the community meeting worked (or was a start, anyway!). YAS KWEEN! The local government admitted they were scarlet and made a “resolution against hate.” This happened ’cause a load of sound people got together and had a word with the scarlet powers that be, and told them to stop being dicks. It’s that simple. So, you know, speak up for shit and don’t BE the dickhead.

2. TALK to the aul ones and local pricks in your area. Con them into an intelligent conversation by starting off with a convo about how much money they think Blue Ivy is raking in every month by just being alive, then slowly move onto how great ‘Lemonade’ is… and before they have time to start talking about how they think Majella down the road thinks she is Becky since she got her hair cut… you will have sneakily got a convo going about social injustice and racism by beysplaining to them the message behind the album they love so much, the importance of the Black Lives Matters movement and why you can’t appropriate and use black culture and all of its greatness without joining in the fight for the basic human rights that black people are denied EVERY day. The right to fucking LIVE.

3. UNITE. Get a mate that can edit and do shit with computers. Dub over the latest episode of Mrs Browns Boys with your voice and instead of them just saying “Jaysus, Mammy, why have u no fanny” (As they stare directly into the camera like fucking nutters), get the characters talking about women’s rights, about all of the issues that are stopping the world from being united and on track for a future that respects everyone and gives EVERYONE the ability to contribute to a more productive planet. If the aul ones will listen to anyone, it’s a Brendan O’ Carroll in a dress.

4. ENGAGE. Did you know that Facebook has other functions besides stalking and reading people’s posts about how they are sick of Facebook and are deleting their accounts, but like never actually do? Just get off it you dick. It actually has more functions than that. It has like these groups for people who, like, DO things. like social injustice groups, local Black Lives Matters groups, Repeal the 8th groups, or my own, personal favourite, a STOP WITH THE FUCKING GAME OF THRONES SPOILERS group. Almost anything you want to help out with has a page. They throw up a load of information about protests and petitions, websites you can donate to, etc. You can start meaningful discussions with other members and even start your own movements locally or globally. Most civil rights movements happened pre phone and internet. You’ll always have some gowl on about social media ruining the world. It doesn’t. It’s powerful. It’s free. It connects us all. Use it to educate yourself and get involved. Apparently the government even got their Hotmail account working and we can like email them and shit now. Considering how lax Hillary is with her email security, I’d say it wouldn’t take much to find her on G-chat.

5. SLAY. Fuck the haters. Fuck the dickheads who HATE themselves and want to make us all pay for it. Fuck the oppressors who think they are winning. Fuck the people who do nothing and stand on the same side as the oppressor. We need to get up and stand up. We need to SLAY these bitches (Read: educate). It starts with the small things, the every day things. Literally, if you see something, SAY something. If someone says something racist, SAY something, If you see someone being sexist, SAY something. Slay them with your words. None of us are perfect, we all do and say stuuuuuupid shit every day. We need to constantly check ourselves as well. All this shit has been programmed into us. It has all been LEARNED. No one is born sexist or a racist. We all learn these behaviours. Which is actually kinda great cause it means we can unlearn it, too. Do you know the amount of shit I have UNLEARNED? 13 years of math and I don’t have a fucking notion what long division is.

Anyway, it’s been a shit, shit year as we all well know. All the greats are being visited by the grim reaper, Netflix prices have shot up and every day there is a new hashtag for a city that has been attacked, a new place or person to pray for (Also, can we stop with the praying for stuff in general? I’m fucking scarlet for the lot of us. Does no one else think it’s mental that when some massive terrorist attacks happen we think praying to some bloke who sleeps on a cloud is going to work? Does anyone really think that after 2016 years he will finally wake up and be like, “Shit, soz about all this mass murder and cancer guys, fell asleep in 1 AD and just woke up. Christ, 6 billion prayers I haven’t answered. Right! Leave it with me. I need to figure out what a hashtag is first.) AS. FUCKING. IF! I’m sorry to tell ye fellow scarletons, but it’s up to US. Which, in a way, is better. At least we can take control and do something.

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What we ARE saying is, let’s recognize that there’s room here to heal through love and kindness in simple, everyday actions. By finding solidarity in sadness, we should move towards a MORE united world, NOT a divided one. If we are to learn ANYTHING from this, it’s that people need to remember we’re all capable of helping.

It’s the human condition: to seek love and acceptance in the short period of time we’re on the planet. When we struggle to find it, feelings of alienation and disconnection make us very vulnerable and things can go horribly, tragically, unthinkably wrong. Let’s make love and kindness EASY to find. Let’s slay these cats with kindness and ACTION.

Think of it like this: the world’s our home, activism is the rent we pay, and equality for everyone is the epic house party we’ve always dreamed of. When every room in the gaff has different music playing and it all somehow blends together to make one almighty fucking banger of a tune, we’ve won. Let’s have a house party where everyone is invited, even Majella with the good hair.

Get informed, Get involved, Use your voice.

Also, on the qt, Scarlet Brigade is working on a project for Repeal the 8th (Repeal the 8th amendment is the fight for women’s rights in Ireland, and specifically the right to access safe and legal abortions). More to be revealed soon. It’s a big one and it will need a lot of work. Right, down the yard and giz a hand.