Scarlet Shit List

As “fuck you 2016” memes flood Instagram, Facebook statuses reach new levels of narcissistic scarlet, and Snapchat filters teeter on a not-so-blurry line of blatant racism, we, at the Scarlet Brigade find ourselves desperately strapping onto a hitching post waiting to see the calm in the eye of the shit twister that was 2016, à la Helen Hunt, 1996. But if the dude from “Big Love” … Continue reading Scarlet Shit List

Cork Plans Its Escape

#BREXIT has thrown the whole world into shock and panic. The biggest outcry however is coming from Cork people who are said to be fucking fuming they didn’t think of this first and are now looking to stage their own, “rebel referendum,” with the hopes of floating off onto their own secluded island, sparking the #CORXIT plan.   Speaking at the #CORXIT rally, chairperson of the “People’s Republic … Continue reading Cork Plans Its Escape

Facebook Statuses That Make Me Wanna Kill A Bitch

Facebook is basically an online library for scarlet. Below are some statuses we ACTUALLY saw on our timelines. “It takes a couple of seconds to say hello, but forever to say goodbye”  (Shutupshutupshutpupshutupshutup SHUTUP, you dope!) “Life is about falling. Living is about getting back up” (Please don’t get back up. Please stay on the fucking floor where I don’t have to see you, FOREVER!) … Continue reading Facebook Statuses That Make Me Wanna Kill A Bitch

Scarlet Track Of The Day

Six:   I’m not even going to bother with their song, ’cause the best thing about Six was this fucking acting masterpiece by Dame Coyle. The whole Coyle family trying to scam Linda Martin needs to be made into a six part RTE series, starring Linda Martin as Linda Martin,and an ageing Dana as Nuhdeen Coyle. “Oh may gawd Linda, ay swear tu yew my date of burth … Continue reading Scarlet Track Of The Day

Cubes Of Scarlet

Things that are good in boxes: Wine Cigarettes Bento Biscuits Chocolates Doughnuts Gifts Jewellery Matches Puppies Sand Shoes Tampons More wine Things that are not good in boxes: People It’s the 21st century and I spend a majority of my working days trapped inside a scarlet bunker, in a temperature controlled room, in a building so depressing that sometimes when I leave work there are people … Continue reading Cubes Of Scarlet

A Miracle Scarlet Breakthrough May Be Here

Do you ever wake up on a Sunday morning and have a lovely twenty seconds of cringe-free bliss before you suddenly, and without warning, get a flashback of the scarlet tornado that was you the night before? Scarlet studies show that one out of one people suffer from sudden onset scarletitis between the hours of 9am & 9pm every Sunday, after which it can get progressively worse. Sometimes even leading … Continue reading A Miracle Scarlet Breakthrough May Be Here