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800 years of oppression. The Famine. Louis Walsh. The 8th Amendment. 50 years of The Late Late Show. Linda Martin. The Catholic Church. So. Much. Mort. And now we have to deal with Ed Sheeran’s, ‘Galway Girl.’ ‘Galway Girl’ is a subtle terrorist attack on Ireland that will slowly wipe us all out from scarlet fever, leaving only those immune to scarlet, alive. This short list … Continue reading Galway Girl – A Scarlet Unpacking
There are two types of scarlet that I study. The bad: “We’re all FUUUUUUUCKED” kind, like realising ‘The Handmaids Tale’ is real and Matt Damon is the best we are gonna get, and the good: “Ah! The HACK of that” kind that is so utterly mortifying and glorious (see Fyre Fest or Brad Pitt’s GQ Interview) that it breathes new mort into you and makes you … Continue reading 2017- A Scarlet Lookback
We have become so overwhelmed with the constant onslaught of scarlet lately that we literally can’t digest it all quick enough. Too much happened last week. It started with The Met Gala on Monday- read our recap here and rapidly descended into a shit show after that. We were trying to get over the Ed Sheeran’s vocal massacre of ‘Galway Girl’ and then he goes and releases a fucking … Continue reading Scarlet Recap – Ed Sheeran, Brad Pitt & Irish Politics
Last week was another historic week in the Scarlet Olympics. Taylor Swift made a sneaky comeback to the scarlet games, and Louis CK came out of nowhere and waved his scarlet torch around, but it was reigning World Champion of Scarlet, Daithi O Se, who went home with the gold again. Here is your recap of all the scarlet happenings from this very morto week: … Continue reading Scarlet Recap – Taylor Swift, Rose of Tralee, Louis Ck and Katy Perry
BuzzFeed warned me that one day, I would get all the feels. The fuckers were right. Today, out of nowhere, I clicked on an article and by the time I had read the last line, I knew my life had changed. I had scarlet tingles from head to toe. By the time I clicked on twitter and saw what awaited me, I was laughing so … Continue reading SCARLET INC – A Fyre Fest Tragedy
The type of scarlet that I am about to unfold on you is a specific type of mortification. It’s when you don’t necessarily do anything cringey but everything and everyone around you is SO MORTO that you, in turn pull a full body reddner on their behalf and die. So I’ll set the scene for you, a scarlet movie if you will: Venue: Whelan’s, Dublin What are … Continue reading Scarlet Shakes
Can 2016 just fucking PISS OFF already? It seems that every time we turn on the news another legend has clocked it– first BOWIE!? now PRINCE! who’s next? PLEASE TAKE CHRIS BROWN…….PLEEEEEASE. It’s hard not to be devastated over this type of news. We are currently at scarlet headquarters busting out our own raspberry berets in his honor, huddled in a corner weeping hysterically to purple rain…but, I have … Continue reading Purple Rain, Purple Rain
Six: I’m not even going to bother with their song, ’cause the best thing about Six was this fucking acting masterpiece by Dame Coyle. The whole Coyle family trying to scam Linda Martin needs to be made into a six part RTE series, starring Linda Martin as Linda Martin,and an ageing Dana as Nuhdeen Coyle. “Oh may gawd Linda, ay swear tu yew my date of burth … Continue reading Scarlet Track Of The Day
LOOK at Brandon Flowers’ actual face. I SAID, LOOK AT IT!!! Shut, how could you ever be scarlet with a face like that? I forgot he even existed for a while. I genuinely thought The Killers were bunged up in some mormon church singing for their supper, but no, turns out they released a couple of albums since ‘Hot Fuzz’, but who cares about that. … Continue reading Brandon Flowers- Scarlet Proof Since 1981
This week’s scarlet proof item is Frazey Ford. Frazey is a Vancouver-based singer who is currently doing a world tour promoting her rather brilliant album ‘Indian Ocean.’ Jaysus, I sound like her manager. Anyway, I can’t stop listening to one particular tune off it and it’s this belter of a break up anthem: First off, the video is epic, there’s something so refreshing about how fucking normal it is. … Continue reading I Will Never Be Done!
