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800 years of oppression. The Famine. Louis Walsh. The 8th Amendment. 50 years of The Late Late Show. Linda Martin. The Catholic Church. So. Much. Mort. And now we have to deal with Ed Sheeran’s, ‘Galway Girl.’ ‘Galway Girl’ is a subtle terrorist attack on Ireland that will slowly wipe us all out from scarlet fever, leaving only those immune to scarlet, alive. This short list … Continue reading Galway Girl – A Scarlet Unpacking
There are two types of scarlet that I study. The bad: “We’re all FUUUUUUUCKED” kind, like realising ‘The Handmaids Tale’ is real and Matt Damon is the best we are gonna get, and the good: “Ah! The HACK of that” kind that is so utterly mortifying and glorious (see Fyre Fest or Brad Pitt’s GQ Interview) that it breathes new mort into you and makes you … Continue reading 2017- A Scarlet Lookback
The fact that repealing the 8th amendment is taking soooooo long is not surprising. As history has proven Ireland has always been a right little prick to women. Here’s a timeline of all the scarlet Ireland has made women endure. I’d set your mind to RAAAAAAGE, right about now. 17th&18th century: The Magdalene Laundries opened. Where in fact, not a lot of laundry was done. They specialized … Continue reading Repeal The Scarlet – Repeal The 8th!
We have become so overwhelmed with the constant onslaught of scarlet lately that we literally can’t digest it all quick enough. Too much happened last week. It started with The Met Gala on Monday- read our recap here and rapidly descended into a shit show after that. We were trying to get over the Ed Sheeran’s vocal massacre of ‘Galway Girl’ and then he goes and releases a fucking … Continue reading Scarlet Recap – Ed Sheeran, Brad Pitt & Irish Politics
We would like to take this time to tell a few people, to….well…..TO FUCKING PISS OFF. We were gonna make a video, of us walking through a park, all Verve like, banging off people, while a really cool beat plays in the background and we read this all slam poetry like and moody as fuck. Except we can’t be arsed, so, like, just picture all … Continue reading Piss Off…..
Last week was another historic week in the Scarlet Olympics. Taylor Swift made a sneaky comeback to the scarlet games, and Louis CK came out of nowhere and waved his scarlet torch around, but it was reigning World Champion of Scarlet, Daithi O Se, who went home with the gold again. Here is your recap of all the scarlet happenings from this very morto week: … Continue reading Scarlet Recap – Taylor Swift, Rose of Tralee, Louis Ck and Katy Perry
It’s a trying time for scarlet scholars. We simply can’t keep up with all the new levels of mort being discovered every day. The last few weeks have been an especially difficult. Between The Script trying to stop terrorism, Ed Sheeran’s appearance in Game of Thrones and R Kelly running a sex cult, we’ve been basically navigating a scarlet tsunami out there. We’ve officially declared … Continue reading Scarlet Recap- The Script, R Kelly & Ed Sheeran Ruining Everything
Anna Wintour’s 2017 Mort Gala took place last night and as usual, it was a masterclass in scarlet. The theme this year was, “Fyre Festival 2017 – A Scarlet Lookback”. Here is our pick of top ten knobbers of the night that’s going to give you all the Buzzfeed mort. 10: Caroline Kennedy Caroline went deep in her look back at Fyre Fest and its origins, picking flowers from … Continue reading Scarlet Met Ball
Once you get scarlet fever, there’s very little you can do about it. Anything can trigger it and the symptoms can vary widely. From a slight toe curl cringe at the sight of a Kardashian, to a full on scarleptic fit when you get a flashback to this photo of Enda Kenny being caught rapid on his way for a bag of cans with d … Continue reading Scarlet For The 8th – A Global March For Choice
Any scarlet scholar will know that Gwyneth Paltrow, “consciously uncoupled” herself from reality right around the time she created Goop. But, what exactly IS Goop and why is it so fucking SCARLEH? We downed a bottle of vodka and went where all good scarlet hunters go, onto the interwebs. Goop is a lifestyle brand, created by Paltrow in 2008 that aims to empower and enlighten … Continue reading What The Fuck Is Goop? – A Scarlet Investigation
