MISSING PERSON APPEAL- John ‘Del Boy’ Delaney.

Police in Rio have issued an appeal for help in finding Irish man, John Delaney, otherwise known as “Delo Boy”, or “Yokemon” to those closest to him.

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Delo Boy has been on the missing list since Rio police issued a warrant for his arrest for being a scabby cunt. Delo Boy’s partner in crime, Pat “Soprano” Hickey, (President of the Olympics Council of Ireland), was knicked in Rio last week and charged with forming a cartel, being a rich prick, and 3 counts of answering the door naked.

Delo Boy, who was born in Saipan in 2002, (and famously beat out Louis Walsh to become President of the Football Association of Ireland), has not been seen since Hickey was banged up in Bangu. Police are now looking for any information on the whereabouts of Delo Boy, who has been described as a 6ft 4, scurvy looking prick with a passion for green ties.

If you have any information on the whereabouts of John ‘Yokemon’ Delaney or my black polka dot wallet that I lost in Charlie’s take away in Temple Bar last weekend, please contact: wheresmewalletdelo@scarlet.com

*Credit to whoever did this ‘where’s Delo’ photo on Twitter. We’re sobbin over here ’cause it’s so fucking good.

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